DEDICATION/DISCLAIMER

Dedication:  These are to/for my family.

Disclaimer:  I have a lot of people in my family who write, and for every one of them there are three+ relations who who get offended by things they include or omit.  When Julia Sugarbaker proudly declared that in the South, we put our crazy people on the front porch for all the world to see, she was not referring to my family.  We don’t air dirty laundry.

Still, when a person tells a story from their childhood, etc., it’s both of those things: their story.  Exaggerations happen.  Metaphors abound.  It’s not historical, it’s contextual based on what the person telling it wants wants the audience to feel.

For example, there’s a story about my mother, the subject of homosexuality and a pork chop.  I can tell you this story in a way that would make you laugh, a way that would make you cry, a way that would make you pity me, a way that would make you proud of me, a way that would make you appalled by her, or a way that would make you applaud her.  If I wrote it right, I might even be able to accomplish all of those things at once.  But here’s the thing:  the story didn’t do any of that when it happened–it’s just a story about my mother, the subject of homosexuality and a pork chop.  There wasn’t a greater life lesson to be told, except for the one I might choose to tell.

All that to say, I write these for fun and to remind myself how much I love my family and friends.  It’s not meant to offend or embarrass and if it does, consider my intent before you freak out and stop talking to me.  If I ever say anything the brings shame to our family or the lives of my friends, please let me know and I’ll think, think about doing some editing.  Otherwise, know that I love you and that every person mentioned is responsible for making me who I am.

Rest assured, more often than not, I’m the punch line so what are you worried about anyway?

• Wonders of Childhood